Gigi Hadid and Zayn Malik may have stepped out wearing very similar jackets in New York this week, but they've got nothing on my hubby and I.
For the record – and at the risk of sounding like a lying politician – let me be clear: I’m not a supporter, you have my word on that. His ‘n’ hers dressing has never been a goal of mine and I’d do anything to avoid the public embarrassment of wardrobe-matching with my husband like the Beckhams in the noughtes.
Isn’t it bad enough that our first names rhyme? Throw in identical outfits and we’re in danger of transforming into some kind of real-life Tweedledum and Tweedledee. That doesn’t mean we haven’t had a few near misses/matching wardrobe malfunctions over the years, though. I’ll be honest: it’s a worrying overlap.
Can I just point out that I inherited by mum’s burgundy Bass loafers first? This isn’t a childish footnote – it’s important (I’ve staked my little flag and I’m not backing down). Bearing this in mind, I wasn’t exactly jumping for joy when my husband decided to buy an identical pair a few years ago – and I’m certainly not pogoing with elation every time there’s a standoff at home over who’s going to wear theirs down the pub and the shouts get louder – "I'M NOT TAKING MINE OFF!"
I’d love to say our #twinning issues stop at footwear but they don’t. I’m embarrassed to say we both share a love of beatnik polo necks – ditto when it comes to tortoiseshell glasses. Only the other day we enjoyed some Friday night drinks wearing disturbingly-similar black turtlenecks. Granted, we looked suspiciously like an off-duty French mime duo – but when you're sipping on a Jacques Dutronc martini at a yé-yé bar, who's judging right?
The only way to reconcile with all of this is by convincing myself that we’re a little less Kimye and a little more John & Yoko. What can I say? Denial is a beautiful thing – especially when you’re rocking bass loafers.
Speaking of denial – here are a few red carpet couples who really know how to twin. Double denim, anyone? Thought not.
By Kat Lister
John Lennon & Yoko Ono
I'll be honest: if my hubby and I could pull this off I'd dive into this look immediately – starting with that hat. As it stands, I don't think south east London is quite ready for it.
David & Victoria Beckham
It's hard to bash this photo – look how pleased they are.
Gwyneth Paltrow & Brad Pitt
On the other end of the scale, these two look decidedly unimpressed with their matchy-matchy sleek hair.
Kate Moss & Jamie Hince
The Beckhams could teach Kate & Jamie a thing or two about leather twinning. Why stop at bikers? Amateurs.
Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie
I mean, if you're going to twin on the red carpet, you could do a lot worse than joint-shopping in YSL.
Kim Kardashian & Kanye West
Arguably the masters of twin dressing. I imagine this is what heaven looks like.
Jane Birkin and Serge Gainsbourg
If it's good enough for Jane & Serge, its good enough for me.
Joshua Jackson & Diane Kruger
Introducing the casual breton twinners for fans of subtlety.